IMPROV FILM PROJECT | Lucky Day 7 | Coming Full-Circle…Back to Stettiner Strasse

On October 22, 2012 by PMD-For-Hire

A somewhat verklempt Ella Nut & Alexandra Von Der Heyde | Day 7 | #ImprovFilmProject |

What a trip…seven days around the Berlin galaxy on the good ship U-Bahn, only to end up back where we began: Stettiner Strasse and the wild and woolly Wedding ghetto which we know oh so well. I can hear the muezzin now…

Sunday marked the final day of principal photography on the Venezuelan-born, Berlin-down Xavier Agudo’s Improv Film Project — #BOOM, #BOOM, plus one more self-indulgent #BOOM (McZoom!) – it was a ‘beaut of a day and a sad parting after the bonding experience of a week together in the aching shoulder trenches with these folks. Golly gee, I’m gonna miss their sweet little bummy bums.

Marcel Romeijn (who plays “Josh”) and Nina Tratz (“Lena Fischer”) had their final smackdown which ended in a… (not going to tell you!). A trio of girls – Alexandra Zoe, Angela Collins, and our Nina – had a chitty-chatty gash gab on the couch over copious cups of the red viscous elixir and a few handfuls of crisps and nuts (boring!), while the story wrapped up in nicely with an early X-mas October bow. Like Hannibal once said (George Peppard, not the smelly bad ass from Carthage):

“I love it when a plan comes together!”

Paramedics were at the ready to attend to any of our fallen Method-acting soldier greats from emotional palpitations in this perpendicular uphill improvisational climb.

Blisters on worn foot pads, scuffed knees, scabby rapt knuckles from too many punches against concrete walls in abject frustration, liver cures for all our unrepentant actor-boozers, crusty booger-y eyes from too many nights dipping deep into the water drum, and ball sacs that were repeatedly smashed in — not caressed, but stomped on — in this decidedly anti-swinging sausagefest of a shooting day. Jaggers! For those latter testicles, ice packs were on standby in case it got ugly in there…fortunately for Mr. Romeijn’s unborn Dutch kids, it didn’t. He came bearing a sharp knife, but someone instead cocked his chrome gun. That’s what I call a real 0-6-9 for our super duper 007 nine-inch nail.

Josh eventually made his face-shaving transformation (no, bimbo, I don’t have a speech impediment, please read once again), and everybody left the room happier than bugs in their snug shag rugs, or as I sometimes like to say, crack ‘ho’s at the heroin wholesale.


Marcel Romeijn as "Josh," um...shave what? | post-transformation | #ImprovFilmProject | |

Okay, ADM, shut your cakehole already and get to the facts, loser.

Okies, dudes, okies…

What did we learn from this day? That’s absolutely none of your business! ::: Okay, just kidding! :::


Shooting movies on the indie tip is fucking hard stuff:

The DPs worked like Greek pack mules on a Marshall Plan scholarship…major ass-grabs and shoulder massages go to Twan “Long Dick Dong” Melssen for his day-in, day-out determination to make this picture look delish both on-screen and, er…off.

Juliane Block – who of course all will soon know as TID’s directress extraordinaire – wrangled down her 2nd Camera, working those buttons and levers like the Wizard himself.

Sound Man Jacopo Vannini made sure our players sounded pristine, with all the lip-smacking saliva exchange hailing in with as much high-fidelity goodness like you were right inside their mouths. Lovely. Also, for some of our more complex exteriors – especially Day 5 along the Kottbusser Damm, Jacopo was able to channel his Jedi Powers to prevent aural gremlins from creeping into the feed. X-Man really lucked out with this crew. And double hi-fives — no racies — for our crew’s Banderas lookalike, too. Vannini probably bones a veritable metric tonne of ‘poontang both in Berlin and abroad. Jayzus! Good thing he wasn’t in this movie, otherwise Improv would have turned out a much different flicker picture, one bearing another couple of XX’s after its erstwhile MPAA rating. Fucking eh… what next?


Actors who really, um…bonded:

I told some of the players yesterday between takes that X-Man will likely be using his Improv Film Project (patent-pending, bitches!) as a test case for a more extensive treatment of the improvisational concept here in Berlin. Okay, let’s retool that shitty run-on sentence: El senor Agudo is likely going to stretch the Berlin improv in English theme considerably to create a wide improvisational oeuvre that will utilize frequent appearances by similar actors as franchise players here in our magnificent Spree Luxembourg (see, no more run-on!).

As such, you’ll be hearing from many of these players again under separate covers, albeit in similar guises, whether it’s:

UPDATE 1: How could we forget the truly unforgettable cameos by Bobby Avilés and Luise Schnittert?

UPDATE 2: Monique Amado. Sultry hot! We need her in more scenes, and not just as the sublime scenery!

  • Dharmander Singh (“Luci” <—WTF with the spelling here? Triple-word score here, Dharm!) as consummate wheel-man and supply-side economist in the powder, pussy pump, and pill trade. Yes.
  • Nina Tratz as our femme fatale and mega-boogie-ing dervish, a siren who will not only tempt your testosterone-challenged 51-card self, but who will also shock your block at how much power is packed into that stylish little frame. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrroooooowwwwwwllll!
  • Stephen Patrick Hannah: this dude needs to get way more roles in this burg. He’s got the experience, the right voice, the right look, and Steve’s freaking hilarious! Plus, he served as the voice of wisdom on this shoot and t’would be good to see him reprise a similar role on a much-longer shoot. Let’s see what the crowdfunding gods have in store for us come winter time. And remember, the word du jour = “gazelle.”
  • Anka Graczyk: regrettably one of our much-underutilized utility players on IFP, the only time we had a chance to see her was when Marcel was canoodling with her at her flat and the market, sipping coffee and eating juicy grapes. In between their the grope sessions, herky-jerky action was to be had on the couch. I’d like see Graczyk stretch her thespian muscles — her thespian ones only , okay?! — wee bit more on a future shoot, I guess all depending on what Mr. Agudo plans for any future remakes, his prequel and/or his sequel. Who’s in?
  • Daniela Lucato: wicked talent at Lagari night club and tons of skill in the linguistic department, too. She only had a chance to play a club groupie in IFP, but that could change soon.
  • Alexandra Zoe & Angela Collins: our ladies were mainly part of the latter-shot coffee klatches, but Collins was hilarious in Hot Donuts and Alexandra Z. speaks a MEAN Hochdeutsch…damn! The Canadian in me is so jealous! #notworthy


Lagari Nightclub, Pfluegerstrasse 19, Berlin | Day 6 | #ImprovFilmProject | |


Supporting players and always coming in under budget:

Way to go to Alexandra Von (Not Van!) Der Heyde for helping Xavier keep the budget tighter than a Victorian-era brand-spanking new chastity belt on this shoot.

She was always there with hot delicious joe, victuals (pronounced “vittles,” as I had to learn recently), sweet treats, cookies, cheesecake, and a warm glossy smile. Spirits remained perpetually high. Actors remained highly-motivated and well-oiled and lubed up. And all parties got along “como los cubanos se dicen tal para cual.”

Daniela (“Ella Nut”) was a right hoot! Her jokes were sharp and timely, and that extra pair of, er…hands of hers were much-needed on what was otherwise a resource-challenged unit.

Everything worked out all peachy keen, like. We fucking rock! #BOOM! Come on everyone, be jealous of us!


So what’s coming soon? What can you expect to see from the IFP team?

  • behind-the-scenes features: we’re readying commentary tracks for you. We’ll be recalling the actors and the technical crew to tell us what they thought while in the heat of the battle and what their experiences were like on-set and off-.
  • pledge rewards: those are coming soon, so all you pledgers will be getting your goodie bags, rub ‘n tugs, and other just deserts shortly.
  • rough cut: all depends on how fast his Agudo-ness can whip up the footage.
  • project name change: I heard through the grapevine Mr. Agudo is contemplating a name change from the more generic “Improv Film Project.” We’ll miss the trinity, though.
  • festival run and non-traditional distribution campaign: that’s what we PMDs do best. If you wanted more information, you know where to hit us up.

Get your merch for this film at Indiekraut!


And always, always, always, FUCK YOUR FEAR!

FOLLOW Xavier Agudo (
MEET US at Improv Film Project on FB.


ADM out (but back soon!)

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